75ZT Community

Training the blonde

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried," one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

Groooaaaaan.....

Blond jokes eh? OK then

Why does it take so long to build a blond snowman?..........
















Because of the time taken to hollow the head out!!

groooooaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnn

Oh Dear, Oh deary me

The worst part for me is that I hadn't heard that one before....................so a new reason to groan!

Derek

PASSWORD AUDIT

During a recent company password audit, it was found that a blonde secretary
was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"

When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told her password had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

Pedro wrote:PASSWORD AUDIT

During a recent company password audit, it was found that a blonde secretary
was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"

When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told her password had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

OMG my sides hurt....

Quick, how do I answer my office colleague why I laugh now and then with no apparent reason? (too bad I can't tell it in French - )

How many Blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?













Two, one to hold the light bulb, the other to spin the ladder...

A man is walking along the pavement when he comes across a big wooden crate.
Stencilled on the side of the crate it says "Dymanite".
So he kicks it and it goes off BNAG!

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said....










FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

A
blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and
she's in dire financial straits. She's desperate so she decides to ask God for
help.



She
begins to pray.. "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I
don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the
lottery."





Lottery
night comes, and somebody else wins.



She
again prays... "God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business,
my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."



Lottery
night comes and she still has no luck.





Once
again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my
business, my house, and my car.. My children are starving. I don't often
ask You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You.





PLEASE
let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in
order."



Suddenly
there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The blonde is
overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.





"Sweetheart,
work with Me on this......Buy a ticket."

I suggest changing the title of this thread to Blond Jokes...

Two blonds went to London and took a double deck bus. The first stood somewhere in the lower deck near the driver cabin and the second sat somewhere on the upper deck. The first called her friend and said: Wow the driver was going 60 mph, how much are you doing up there?
The second replied: I don't know our driver did not come over yet!

Brunette Joke
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."