75ZT Community

... doesn't mean they ain't out to get you

Last week I sent my Court expences claim form in by post as I wasn't going to be sitting in Court for a few days.

Yesterday, I received it back. It had been opened and then returned in a brand new envelope complete with a covering letter stating that it had been incorrectly addressed.

Today I made a point of going in to Court with the form and spoke to the admin assistant at the desk these forms would usually land on.

"Oh yes" he says, all bright and breezy. "The system has changed now. They now need to be posted to a completely different destination"

Apparently, nobody had thought to tell the Magistrates about the change.

I asked where they should now be sent and I was given an address almost identical to the original and I then asked, out of curiosity, where that address would be located. He pointed to the desk next door. Out of sheer bloodymindedness, I took a ruler from his desk and measured the distance between desks... 16.5 inches. He had gone to the trouble of opening my claim, writing a covering letter and using a new envelope, including postal charge to return the form.

Not trusting myself to make any comment about civil service mentality, I said I would drop it off on the correct desk while I was there.

"No need" was the reply. "Just give it to me. I run both desks anyway. I'll put it in my other in-tray".

As a taxpayer he should be sacked for:

a) wasting the taxpayers money
b) wasting time
c) for being so bloodminded and jobsworth such that he is on no use to anyone

Knowing you as I do Paul a lesser man would have resorted to violence.

Even if it would be a clip around the ear.

Gary M.

I'd not have been surprised to see that the above had been posted on the 1st of April!

You should send this to Reader's Digest. They publish stuff like this in their "You Couldn't Make It Up" section, and pay £50 for ones they use. Your story is better than 90% of what they print, most of which does in fact appear to have been made up! (There was one good story earlier this year, which was both humorous and genuine, but then I am a little biased as it came from me! )

Come on Dave, I'll take the bait, do tell us what it was

Do you mean you want to see my story?!

I might have a copy but it's on my old laptop if I have, so it might take a while.....

Dave wrote:Do you mean you want to see my story?!

I might have a copy but it's on my old laptop if I have, so it might take a while.....

Now stop bobbing and weaving-------------Leseeit.---

OK, I have just looked on my current laptop in case I'd copied the story over, but can't see it. Having resigned my myself to firing up the old one, I then wondered if my story was perchance online, guessing the Reader's Digest might have an archive of older stuff. As it turns out, they haven't, but they do have a Facebook page, and bizarrely, my story is there from May, under the heading,

Did you know we pay £50 for your funny true stories? Top this one in the comments below for your chance to win.

What's the chances eh?!

So, here's the story (gather round now....)

"On a recent holiday we took our caravan to a small site near Filey in North Yorkshire. We had fairly good weather, but on one day it persistently tipped it down with rain. We decided, as we’d managed to walk our two Labradoodles, that we might as well get our shopping done.

Parking outside the superstore, my other half went inside while I stayed in the car with the dogs. As usual, I engaged in a bit of “people watching”, observing what customers were doing in regard to the rain. Most were parking as near as they could to the door and dashing in, although one took this to extremes.

The car was squeezed into the tiniest spot, but not before disgorging its two passengers, who preceded their exit by popping out an umbrella before alighting, making sure to stay under it and then waiting for the driver, to keep him dry too.

I was surprised to see that the pair were two young men dressed in shorts, obviously wanting to keep as dry as possible to preserve their hairstyles and seemingly not keen on water. I noticed something was written on the back of their jackets but couldn’t quite read it. However, when they returned and repeated the process in reverse, I did manage to see what it said: 'Lifeguard'."

-David Hyde, Lincolnshire

TBH, when I'd typed it out, I nearly didn't send it, as it didn't look all that funny written down, but figured it was worth a punt for the chance of £50!

If I remember rightly (actually, I do remember rightly) they re-worded it a bit. Not sure why - I did admit it went on a bit when I submitted it, but they didn't really make it any shorter, and for some reason they decided the car had two passengers, whereas there was only actually one! Also I always sign myself "Dave" but they turned me into "David" which annoys me - they wouldn't do that the other way around!

They probly fought it kneeded to be spewlt proper and gramatickaly curect. Plus as the Readers Digest is upmarket it had to be David like Dave who was prime minister

Well done Sir for that story---





and so you should be.---Lol